I recently had a conversation with my homeschool support group leader and friend, Suzanne. She and I were talking about the importance of building character. What she had to say was insightful and encouraging so I asked her to share what was on her heart. Thanks, Suzanne!

Character

As homeschoolers, we decide to embark on this journey for all sorts of reasons; one that comes to mind is to instill Godly character in our kids.  Character has been on my heart lately.  We can all agree that academics are important, but without good character it’s all irrelevant.

So what does good and Godly character look like, and how do we go about passing it on to our kids? First, let’s look at what it means to have good character.  Our true character is how we act or react when no one is watching.  The definition of character is moral or ethical quality.  You can have all the smarts in the world, but without quality character it’s likely you won’t have close friends, or will have strained relationships, and we all desire to be accepted by others.  The Bible uses the words wisdom, righteous, and integrity when speaking of good character, and has quite a bit  to say about it.  Proverbs 10:9 says, “The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out.” When one of my kids has a character issue, I stop everything to redirect them, even if it means math takes a backseat for the day.  I try to keep it light and fun, sometimes we act out the right and the wrong way to act.  In the end we’re all laughing, but my point has been made.

Now that we know what good and Godly character looks like, how do we get it and instill it in our kids?  Well, you don’t just get good character, because we are all born sinners.  Character has to be modeled, and taught; this usually starts in the home with mom and dad.  Kids model their behaviors after us; they are watching all the time.  Now I know we are not, and never will be perfect beings, but if our children see us model ourselves after Jesus, and acknowledge when our behavior is poor, it will become clear to them.  If I teach and give Godly instruction, but don’t model this behavior, then I’m nothing more than a hypocrite, and they will see it.

One last thing, without love, it is all done for nothing.  Let us instruct and redirect with love.  Love=acceptance and peace, and kids want to be accepted.

Colossians 3:14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Ephesians 4:2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

Wahoo! School is out for Summer! I feel energized and excited about the possibilities of what next school year is going to bring. Come on, I know many of you are already looking ahead to August. 🙂  After speaking to one of the homeschool moms about how the year went, I felt inspired to write a few musings of what I have learned throughout my 16 years of homeschooling.

Homeschooling Is…

Messy If you are just beginning on this journey and you are under the impression that your house will be free of messes, then I will have to dispel that misconception of homeschooling. On any given day there could be an animal dissection lab, Lego blocks, or an art project that involves paint and glitter going on. Depending upon the age of your children, all three of these might be occurring! Keep in mind that you are doing school and living in your home. Determine what level of messy you are comfortable with and not stress when things get messier than you like. Having children clean up is part of school too.

Entertaining I think of how many crazy things I heard or saw when I was homeschooling that I could write a book of memoirs on each of the boys. Everything from jumping out a window to practice a fire drill ( I didn’t know he did that until I saw him running around in his pi’s in the backyard!); to making a wedding dress for a 6’3″ boy who was a jilted character in a play (none of the girls would do it, so he volunteered); to eating popcorn while listening to a book read aloud by Dad. These are all things I would never have experienced if the boys had gone to a traditional school.

Hectic Your time is being divided between schoolwork and housework and you feel guilty when you are not able to do both. Can you do it? Yes, but having realistic expectations makes all the difference in the world. When school is in session, that is the main priority. Housework can be assigned as part of the school routine, and children are made more responsible by helping. Household responsibilities that can be delegated to children are: taking out the trash, loading, unloading the dishwasher, cleaning mirrors, sweeping the floor, picking up toys, making beds, putting away groceries, folding clothes, taking clothes to the washing machine, etc. If you aren’t able to get the help that you need, then take short breaks to stop and do some mini cleaning. It won’t be such a big  task at the end of the day if you pick up as you go.

Difficult Can you believe I said that? 🙂 I wouldn’t be truthful if I said we never had  problems and all went smoothly in our school. Ian says he remembers the calls made to the principal involving behavior issues. While I couldn’t march him to the school office, he did have to talk to his dad at times. The good news is that he is now a young adult who has a great relationship with us. He didn’t even have to go to the Dean of Students when he went to college, at least not that I am aware of!

Lest you think that only Ian and I had our difficulties, Malcolm had talks with his father as well. The discipline of sitting in a chair and doing schoolwork was a habit that I think he never caught onto when in school. To this day, you will find him sprawled out on the floor of our family room when he comes to visit. I was so distraught about him falling out of his chair when I would mention math that I called a friend who homeschooled 6 sons. When I told her about Malcolm and his “limpyness” she proceeded to tell me that was normal for some boys and not to make a big deal of it. She put things in perspective for me, but I must say that it was hard not to lecture him each time he did that. I loosened up a bit and gave him permission to do his work on the floor, but he also had to sit in a chair and pay attention when I was teaching a lesson.  Isn’t that the beauty of homeschooling? He didn’t have to be in a chair all of the time and I didn’t loose my relationship with him over something that really wasn’t as big of a deal as I was making it out to be.

Rewarding I wouldn’t trade all of those joys and struggles we had while homeschooling for a clean, quiet house. (seriously!) The time will come all too soon when you will have the opportunity to have a spotless home and a house that is so quiet you jump when the air conditioning kicks on. I always thought that would be great and I found myself wishing for a day to get things straightened up. Now I have no excuses to keep me from cleaning! I don’t even have a pet to blame and I realize that I (sometimes) miss the days where things were messy.

Yes, you read that right! Take some time for you, as homeschooling can drain you faster than a cold glass of lemonade on a sultry summer evening. Finding something that will recharge you may seem like another thing to put on your “To Do” list, but if you need a reason, count it as a Teacher Professional Day or a homeschool requirement. 🙂 Now that I have you thinking about it, what are some ideas? I have some here and they cost practically nothing, and I think that is always a good thing, don’t you?

• Take a  bubble bath.  Nothing beats a long day of activity like a warm bubble bath! No kids allowed in, this is time for you.
• Read a good book.  goodreads has books that have been recommended by others and I have found it to be helpful when looking for a certain genre.
• Go for a walk or a bike ride. Having some alone time and getting exercise is a great combination to renew your mind and body.
• Call a friend. Yes, actually have a conversation with a friend instead of a quick text will help after a difficult week.
• Have a date night with your hubby. You don’t have to go anywhere since that requires preparation and oftentimes cash. Dale and I had what we called “couch time” where we would set aside time once a week or every other week in the evening to talk.
• Work on a project or a hobby. If you can find something that doesn’t take too long it is so rewarding to accomplish something. This can be painting your nails, making a card, working on a crossword puzzle, or going out in your garden.
• Break out the chocolate! Yes, I know you have a stash somewhere. Reward yourself with one or two pieces of antioxidant yumminess. After my mom passed away and my dad had to clean out the house to sell it, he said he found several  of my mom’s chocolate stashes. I remember that from time to time when I am putting a candy bar in a “secret place”.  It isn’t so much to hide from anyone else, but from me so I don’t eat it all at once!
• Watch a favorite movie. I don’t know how many times I have watched Price and Prejudice starring Kiera Knightly, but I love everything about that movie.
• Sit and do nothing. I threw that out there because I think we take so little time to just be still and quiet our minds. Keep a piece of paper and a pencil next to your chair. If you start to think of something you need to do, write it down, but don’t get up. Eventually, all of the things you thought you had to do will stop clamoring for your attention since you have written them down. If that is just too quiet, have some music playing quietly while you are resting. Pray and give all of the things that are wearing you down or are making you tired to Him. This works wonders for me and I don’t do it nearly as much as I should.

So… take time for yourself. You will have more energy and a better perspective about things when you do it. Have a great week!

~Lisa